1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:05,537
Just try it again.
This time I'll get it.
2
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,573
Okay, tell me
what I'm thinking.
3
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:09,608
Okay.
4
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:12,411
You're thinking of..
5
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,380
...Florence Henderson.
6
00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:17,316
I was thinking of a fork.
7
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:20,386
But wasn't her
maiden name Florence Fork?
8
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:26,325
Close enough, alright,
think of something else.
9
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:28,327
Okay.
10
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,363
You're thinking of..
11
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:35,034
...the 1927 Yankees.
12
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:37,403
I was still thinking of a fork.
13
00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:40,339
But didn't one of their
pitchers throw a fork ball?
14
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:43,609
- I don't know.
- Well trust me, he did.
15
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,379
Hi, guys.
16
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,114
Hello.
17
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:52,151
Oh, we're okay.
Don't get up.
18
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,552
I wasn't going to.
19
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,654
Guess what?
ALF can read our minds.
20
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:58,424
He's not reading
mine at the moment.
21
00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:02,428
Yes, I am.
I'm just ignoring it.
22
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:05,431
He's teaching me
metal telepathy.
23
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:08,300
I think you mean
mental telepathy.
24
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:09,601
Maybe it is metal.
25
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,671
All he keeps
thinking about is forks.
26
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:17,176
"How to develop
your psychic awareness
27
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,410
in one afternoon."
28
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,345
- We sent away for it.
- Yeah.
29
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:22,848
It came with a pair
of these X-ray glasses.
30
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:26,652
You wasted good money
on a mind-reading kit?
31
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:30,689
We'll make it all back
with our stock market picks.
32
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:33,459
ALF, you come from an
advanced civilization.
33
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:36,228
How can you be so gullible?
34
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:38,831
You're right. I'm ashamed.
35
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,535
Nice underwear, Kate.
36
00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:49,675
[theme music]
37
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:03,388
[no audio]
38
00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:19,404
[music continues]
39
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,837
[instrumental music]
40
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,408
Oh, good. Everyone's here.
41
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:57,676
Where's Kate?
42
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,545
I-in the shower.
43
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:00,746
Thanks.
44
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,316
He wouldn't.
45
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,817
He might.
46
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,886
[Kate screaming]
47
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:09,388
He did.
48
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,794
Found her.
49
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:19,298
ALF, you don't walk into
other people's showers.
50
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,432
I didn't walk in.
51
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,768
I just pulled
the curtain open.
52
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:27,539
I insist that you respect
my wife's privacy.
53
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,975
I didn't know
she was gonna be naked.
54
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:33,478
Don't you ever do that again.
55
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:36,515
Alright, alright.
We're movin' on.
56
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:39,384
I need to have
a family meeting here.
57
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:44,389
- ALF!
- They'll call back.
58
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,327
You do that again,
you're a seat cover.
59
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,929
- Do what again?
- You know what!
60
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:54,433
ALF, that was very rude
hanging up the phone like that.
61
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:57,402
You're right. I'm sorry.
62
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,737
You look a little
different today.
63
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,473
- Oh, I know--
- You used to have a mustache?
64
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,875
No, I got my braces off.
65
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:07,746
Yeah, but didn't you
used to have a mustache, too?
66
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:11,016
ALF, what do you have
to say that's so important?
67
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:14,019
Today is March the first.
68
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:15,821
You'd better not be finished.
69
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:20,626
I wasn't.
Tomorrow is the second.
70
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,728
- I'm calling Mindy back.
- Wait! Wait! Wait!
71
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,696
Come here. Come back here.
72
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,799
Every 75 years on March 2nd
73
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:31,603
I go through
a complex physiological
74
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:35,007
and psychological
transformation.
75
00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:36,775
What?
76
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,443
I go goofy.
77
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,514
All Melmacians go through it.
78
00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,583
From sunrise to sunset
79
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:47,653
my personality
will change dramatically.
80
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:50,656
Ah, how dramatic is this change?
81
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:53,325
One never knows till it happens.
82
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,494
But expect the unexpected
83
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,929
wildly erratic behavior
84
00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,698
personality shifts.
85
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,700
The main thing
is that I'll do anything
86
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:05,837
to get out of that cage
and get my hands on a cat.
87
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,539
Any questions?
88
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:10,542
- I have one.
- You, in the tie.
89
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:11,943
What cage?
90
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,546
Oh, the cage you're
going to build for me.
91
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:17,582
The one with
the reinforced sides.
92
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:20,485
Let me get this straight.
93
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:23,588
You're gonna act strange
and you're gonna eat cats.
94
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,324
So what's the change?
95
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,326
It's a matter of degree.
96
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:30,495
Imagine ALF to the tenth power.
97
00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:33,398
It boggles the mind.
98
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,568
[instrumental music]
99
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:43,875
Excuse me, Willie.
100
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:47,112
N-not now, ALF,
I'm trying to finish this cage.
101
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,914
Will you talk to me later?
102
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:51,783
When would be good
to tell you it's all wrong?
103
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,553
And what's wrong with it?
104
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:58,357
Well, for one thing,
it's too small.
105
00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:02,928
I'm gonna need much more room
for writhing and thrashing.
106
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:05,464
Well, ALF,
you didn't say anything
107
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:08,433
about writhing and thrashing.
108
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,736
I thought it was a given.
109
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:13,739
Look, I found this
photo album in my spaceship.
110
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:18,043
I think there's a picture in
here of the last cage we built.
111
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,845
Yeah, here it is.
112
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:22,647
Well, that doesn't look
anything like what I built.
113
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:25,150
That's all iron and steel.
114
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,919
Yeah. And the inside is padded.
115
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,591
Well, I haven't got time now
116
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:34,626
to rebuild this whole cage.
117
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,596
Oh, look,
that's my cousin Kendall.
118
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,498
- Step-cousin actually.
- It-it..
119
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,166
That's him with his first car.
120
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:43,468
- ALF..
- Well, look here.
121
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,170
Here's my god-son Jed.
122
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:49,875
That must've been taken
at his 100th birthday party.
123
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:53,612
- That's me on the pony.
- Oh.
124
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,147
Say, you photograph very well.
125
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:58,016
- You know, I never thought so.
- Look, ALF, what..
126
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:01,153
What if I just try to
reinforce what I've got here?
127
00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:02,187
Good idea.
128
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:03,889
¶ She hates California ¶
129
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,690
¶ It's cold and it's damp.. ¶¶
130
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:08,860
Mr. Ochmonek!
H-he's on his way over.
131
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,962
Come on, ALF,
get in here! Hide, quick!
132
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:14,966
But I like Sinatra.
Especially the early years.
133
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,569
- Move it!
- It's dark in there.
134
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,971
- Go!
- Oh.
135
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:23,675
¶ That's why
the lady is a tramp ¶
136
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:26,945
¶ Yeah yeah yeah ¶
137
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,080
¶ That's why the lady.. ¶
138
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,650
¶ That's why the lady ¶
¶ That's why the lady ¶
139
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:35,987
¶ That's why
the lady is a tramp ¶¶
140
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,223
Ah, Trevor.
141
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,724
So you dig
the Chairman too, huh?
142
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:43,061
The Chairman?
Oh, yes, of the board. Yes, yes.
143
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,997
I-I'm quite fond of his work,
especially the early years.
144
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,900
Tell me about it.
What, are you shipping a monkey?
145
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:51,670
Oh, uh, no, no, no,
No monkey. No, no.
146
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,872
I'm just building
a little storage shed.
147
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:56,675
Because I, uh,
I need a little storage.
148
00:07:56,677 --> 00:08:01,246
Yeah, I've been trying to get
Raquel to build one for months.
149
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,848
Oh, ho. Hey, hey.
150
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:05,584
Hey, Trevor,
can I ask you a little favor?
151
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:06,852
- Sure, neighbor.
- Uh, well..
152
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,720
You know, Kate and I
are having our house sprayed
153
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,922
for, uh, uh..
154
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,161
...silverfish.
155
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,697
I just wondered
if it would be alright
156
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,633
if, uh, you guys could
watch our cat?
157
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,835
Oh, well,
Raquel's allergic to cats.
158
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:27,606
Her feet swell up,
all the Pitzer sisters have it.
159
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,708
Oh, well, gee, then never mind.
160
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:30,942
You know what?
161
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,577
He could stay
with me in the bedroom.
162
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:33,812
Raquel could sleep on the couch.
163
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,747
Oh, I couldn't
ask her to do that.
164
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:38,250
I could. Don't worry about it.
165
00:08:38,252 --> 00:08:40,619
You know, Raquel and I were
just saying the other day
166
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,921
we never see
you and, uh, Mrs. T anymore.
167
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,891
Well, Kate and I have been
up to our necks with ALF..
168
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,627
...falfa! Alfalfa!
169
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,795
Alfalfa?
170
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,031
Yeah, Kate planted all this..
171
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:55,901
...alfalfa.
172
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,636
That's why we got
all those new tools
173
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,938
we gotta put in
our new toolshed!
174
00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:04,175
In fact, I wouldn't be surprised
175
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,711
if it was the alfalfa..
176
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:11,716
...th-that caused
the silverfish!
177
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:13,919
Excuse me.
178
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,890
[instrumental music]
179
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,829
- Is everything in there?
- Yes.
180
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:27,332
Uh, pillow, owl costume
181
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,801
and hash brown potatoes.
182
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,837
You didn't drain
the grease, did you?
183
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:35,907
Oh, and your Danish postcards
are in there, too.
184
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,876
Danish postcards?
185
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,779
They're pictures of Danishes!
186
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:44,950
Well, I guess it's that time.
187
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:47,352
- Well, good luck, ALF.
- Thanks, Brian.
188
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,721
Now remember,
Willie, you are not
189
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:51,957
I repeat,
not to let me out of here
190
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,259
under any circumstances.
191
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,628
- Is that clear?
- Yes.
192
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,929
Good.
193
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,970
Good. Now let me out.
194
00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:07,339
I have to use
the little alien's room.
195
00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:09,040
Oh, sure.
196
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:12,110
What are you doing?
Are you crazy?
197
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,713
Didn't I say not
to open this door
198
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,815
under any circumstances?
199
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,817
Well, I thought, uh..
200
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,785
I thought you
really had to go.
201
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,254
You have a lunatic
on your hands here.
202
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:27,726
You've got to be prepared for
all kinds of diabolical tricks.
203
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:30,061
(Willie)
Okay, okay.
204
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,398
(ALF)
You know, maybe I should go
205
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,634
just to be on the safe side.
206
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,002
Forget it.
207
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,904
(ALF)
Good. You're
finally catching on.
208
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:42,307
Now, now let me out.
I have to go.
209
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:45,276
[laughs]
Oh, no. No.
210
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,412
[howling]
211
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,015
Maybe he's in pain.
212
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:51,650
That's just another
one of his tricks.
213
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:55,387
(ALF)
Help! Help! Fire!
Somebody let me out.
214
00:10:55,389 --> 00:10:56,921
He's lying.
215
00:10:56,923 --> 00:11:00,158
Ooh! Oh, there's
a big rat in here.
216
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,960
Badly.
217
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:05,130
[imitating Lynn]
Mom, dad, get me out of here.
218
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:07,899
Lynnie, that sounded
just like you.
219
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:10,135
Wow, he's really good.
220
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:13,905
Excuse me, but this
is really weird. I can't watch.
221
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:17,142
[imitating Brian]
Wait for me, wait for me!
222
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,810
Did I say that?
223
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,045
Brian, you better go
to your room, too.
224
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,413
This could get out of hand.
225
00:11:21,415 --> 00:11:22,781
[imitating Willie]
This could get out of hand.
226
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,182
This could get out of hand.
227
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:27,919
He's good.
He's very very good. Mmm.
228
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,822
He's almost
as good as Rich Little.
229
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,357
[imitating Kate]
Can Rich Little do this?
230
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,693
Can Rich Little do this?
231
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:35,860
Stop!
232
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,396
[imitating Kate]
Stop, stop.
233
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:41,700
It's gonna be a long night.
234
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:44,869
[instrumental music]
235
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,739
(ALF)
Yo, B.. Brian.
236
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:48,907
Where are you going?
237
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:50,341
To get some milk.
238
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:53,478
Oh, yeah, that would
sure hit the spot.
239
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,846
Hey, come here.
240
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:57,015
I'm not supposed
to talk to you.
241
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,150
Not talk to your old buddy?
242
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,919
You don't have to be afraid.
243
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:04,289
It's over.
I'm back to my old self.
244
00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:05,790
Come on, let me out.
245
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,492
You said not until sunrise.
246
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:09,327
(ALF)
'Brian, it's me.'
247
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,962
The old ALFer.
248
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,364
The guy that taught
you how to read minds.
249
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:16,367
In fact, I know
what you're thinking right now.
250
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,103
What?
251
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:19,838
That you want
to let your old pal
252
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,806
out of this cage, right?
253
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:24,309
No. I was thinking of a fork.
254
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:26,978
[ALF imitating buzzer]
255
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,180
- What's that?
- Oh, it's my alarm.
256
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:32,150
It's sunrise.
You can let me out now.
257
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,986
- But it's still dark.
- Not on Melmac.
258
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,388
See, that's the time we go by.
259
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,424
So I made it. Open up.
260
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,793
- Are you sure?
- I'm sure, I'm sure.
261
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,461
Open up. I'm hungry.
262
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,063
Okay.
263
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,000
[sighs]
Thanks.
264
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,469
Oh, hey would
you check in that cage?
265
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:54,405
I left my hash brown
bucket in there.
266
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,811
Ha! Ha!
267
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:02,347
ALF, why are you
locking me in this cage?
268
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:05,784
Sorry, kid.
I need a head start.
269
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,520
Save me some hash browns!
270
00:13:08,522 --> 00:13:10,522
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
271
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:16,494
[door shuts]
272
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:19,898
[instrumental music]
273
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,566
(Brian)
Mom! dad!
274
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:24,335
Mom! Dad! Let me out!
275
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,573
Oh, boy, he does a good Brian.
276
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:31,176
You'd hardly know it was ALF.
277
00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:33,578
It's me, it's really me.
278
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,180
Nice try.
279
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:37,515
Honey, honey, maybe it is Brian.
280
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:41,419
But that can't be.
Brian's in.. Brian's in bed.
281
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:42,887
Brian!
282
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,823
- What?
- Not you.
283
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,858
- Brian!
- What?
284
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,993
I'll go check his room.
285
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,862
Honey, honey.
286
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:52,197
I-it looks
just like Brian.
287
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:54,599
Oh, maybe ALF can
change his shape, too.
288
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:57,235
No, he can't. It's me.
289
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,206
Alright.
290
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,842
Alright, if you're really Brian
291
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:05,310
what's your favorite food?
292
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:08,146
- Spaghetti.
- Uh, that's ridiculous.
293
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,081
No, no, no,
that is his favorite food.
294
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,583
Well, I thought
it was Lynn who liked spaghetti.
295
00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:12,951
- No.
- No?
296
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,587
- No.
- He's not back there.
297
00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:17,121
Say, what's your favorite food?
298
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:19,891
I don't know.
White boiled potatoes.
299
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:21,159
I thought you
liked spaghetti.
300
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:22,327
- It's alright.
- Alright?
301
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:23,862
- It's fine.
- You always--
302
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,331
Willie.. Willie,
I-I'm going to open this cage.
303
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,266
No. No, wait.
304
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,501
What's your
mother's maiden name?
305
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,804
What's a maiden name?
306
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,106
Well, you know it's the name
she had before she was married.
307
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,208
- Kate.
- No, her other name.
308
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,878
- Her last name.
- Halligan.
309
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:43,014
- Oh, Brian! Honey!
- Brian..
310
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:46,050
- Are you alright?
- What happened to ALF?
311
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,385
I let him go.
312
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,621
- Oh, honey.
- I'll go check out back.
313
00:14:49,623 --> 00:14:51,623
Brian, why?
314
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:55,126
He told me
the change was over.
315
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:58,229
- I'm really sorry.
- Oh, honey, it's alright.
316
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,932
But what were you doing up
in the middle of the night?
317
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,400
I thought I wanted some milk.
318
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,969
Maybe it was ALF trying
to call me in my mind.
319
00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:08,273
No, I-I-I don't think so, Brian.
320
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,141
The gate to the Ochmoneks'
is wide open.
321
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,477
Oh, no. Lucky's over there.
322
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:15,413
Ah, I-I'm going next door
and see if ALF is there.
323
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,683
You, you stay here
in case he comes back.
324
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,084
[sighs]
325
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:24,589
Oh, well, you-you'd both
better go back to bed.
326
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,926
- I can't sleep now.
- I'm hungry.
327
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,594
Alright, alright.
We'll, uh..
328
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,430
We'll stay up and have a snack.
W-what would you like?
329
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,599
- Spaghetti.
- White boiled potatoes.
330
00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:40,138
[knock on door]
331
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:43,041
(Trevor)
'Hey, Raquel!'
332
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:45,543
[snoring]
333
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,049
Raquel!
334
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:54,352
Oh.. Oh, was I snoring again?
335
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,554
I'm comin'. I'm comin'.
keep your shorts on.
336
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,656
Who could that be
at this time of night?
337
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:01,559
It's probably the airport
asking you to keep it down.
338
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,394
[knock on door]
339
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:06,731
Alright, alright, alright.
340
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,266
- Hey, Tanner.
- Trevor.
341
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,201
- Hello, Willie.
- Oh, hi. Hi, Raquel.
342
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,236
I'm sorry to bother
you this late at night
343
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:14,572
but, I just came over..
344
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:17,508
I-I-I was hoping
I could get Lucky.
345
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,179
I mean, Lucky, our cat.
346
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,281
Oh. At this time of night?
347
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,116
Well, we were worried about him.
348
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:27,485
It's his first night
away from home.
349
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,288
Yeah. I had a feeling.
Raquel, get the cat.
350
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:33,324
I can't go near that cat.
You know it makes my feet swell.
351
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,394
Oh, yeah, then you'll
be wearing my shoes again.
352
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,014
I'll get the cat.
353
00:16:39,015 --> 00:16:40,465
- I'm sorry, Raquel.
- That's alright.
354
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,467
Willie, can
I get you something?
355
00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:45,570
I just bought one of those
international coffees.
356
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:50,375
- No!
- Something without caffeine?
357
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,477
No, no.
358
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:53,711
No, I don't need
anything from the kitchen.
359
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,646
I can't find the
little fella anywhere.
360
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,281
[machine whirring]
361
00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,584
Hey, what's going
on in the kitchen?
362
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,223
[whispers]
ALF!
363
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:08,226
How long do you preheat
these for a cat?
364
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,494
Give me that!
365
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,662
[laughing]
366
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,738
What's so funny?
367
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,074
This toaster oven..
368
00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:26,411
Is it a toaster,
or is it an oven?
369
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:29,280
Why are you holding it?
370
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:32,283
Haven't you ever felt
the need to just hold something?
371
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:33,684
I just found
the strangest thing.
372
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:36,320
An open can of minestrone
in the kitchen.
373
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:38,089
Oh, that was
probably the cat.
374
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:40,158
Your cat opens tin cans?
375
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,426
It's amazing, I know.
376
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:43,594
We're trying
to get him on "Letterman."
377
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,163
[crash]
Oh, my!
378
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,631
That better not be my cologne.
379
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,637
Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
380
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,839
ALF, we're going home.
381
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,808
- I want that cat.
- No!
382
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:58,576
Alright. Who needs him?
383
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,479
There are a million cats out
there! Give me your car keys.
384
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,648
ALF, we're gonna
go home, right now!
385
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:04,715
No!
386
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:07,718
[laughing hysterically]
387
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,288
Look.. Ow! Ugh!
388
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,857
He broke my glass eye.
389
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:15,660
- I'll buy you another one.
- You got that right.
390
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:17,328
[machine whirring]
391
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,796
Raquel, that sounds
like your riding mower!
392
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,498
[gasps]
393
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,333
- Oh, no!
- Hey!
394
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,635
Where you going
with my toaster oven?
395
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:31,476
(man on radio)
'Unit Six treed cat
at 13-1-4-5 Julio Street.'
396
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,212
'What? Hoolio Street?'
397
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,780
'I hate this town.'
398
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:39,183
- Where was that again?
- Uh, uh, uh..
399
00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:42,220
13-1-4-5 Julio Street.
400
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,555
Oh, no.
401
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,657
I should've
seen this coming.
402
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,359
What?
403
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,895
We're running out
of those little flags.
404
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,498
(man on radio)
'Unit-9, proceed
to 105th and Decker.'
405
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:56,634
'Investigate break-in
at Pete's House O Pets.'
406
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,736
Well, here's
105th and Decker.
407
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,838
Look, dad.
It's nowhere near Julio Street.
408
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,773
ALF can't be doing
all those things.
409
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,342
Well, you're right, of course.
410
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:07,311
How far could he get
on a lawn mower?
411
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:10,348
(man on radio)
'All units in the vicinity
proceed to County Zoo.'
412
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,683
'Investigate report
of a missing tiger.'
413
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,653
Oh, my gosh, ALF.
414
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:19,423
Oh, no, even ALF
would have more sense
415
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:22,760
than to kidnap a tiger.
416
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,595
Yeah, you're right.
417
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,731
Lynnie, let's get in the car
drive around the neighborhood
418
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,466
one more time
and see if we can find him.
419
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,468
But, what if he's
got the tiger?
420
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:33,471
Then they won't be hard to spot.
421
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:35,606
Hey, where you guys
off to at 4:00 in the mornin'?
422
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:39,944
Oh, uh, just, uh, goin',
uh, out for, uh, a drive.
423
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:44,415
Hey, keep an eye out
for Raquel's lawn mower, eh?
424
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:47,718
Say, Trevor,
speaking of eye out
425
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,555
uh, I'm really sorry about
what happened to your..
426
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:55,226
Hey, forget about it.
I got a drawer full of them.
427
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:56,928
Listen, uh..
428
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:59,964
I know we don't talk much and
this may not be the right time
429
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,566
but, uh..
430
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:07,972
I'm not a happy man.
431
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:13,544
(woman on TV)
'One, two, three,
burn that tummy.'
432
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,980
'You can't hit the beaches
if you can't see your feet.'
433
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:17,448
'Three..'
434
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,554
- No luck?
- Nope.
435
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,590
We did find
the lawn mower, though.
436
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:28,659
Oh, good, I won't have
to buy Raquel a new one.
437
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:32,363
You will if you can't get the
bonsai trees out of the blade.
438
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:34,999
[sighs]
Anything on the police scanner?
439
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:38,336
Just a couple
of domestic spats.
440
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,871
One of them was
at the Ochmoneks'.
441
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:44,508
Brian? Honey,
you have a headache?
442
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:47,245
No, I'm thinking of a fork.
443
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,914
I'm trying to get ALF back.
444
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,749
Metal telepathy.
445
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,385
I'm the one who
let him get away.
446
00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:56,687
I've got to make him come back.
447
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:59,390
Honey, he'll come
back when he can.
448
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,891
- If he can.
- Lynn.
449
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:02,760
Well, by now,
his 12 hours are up.
450
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:05,429
I'm sure he's come out of it and
he might not know where he is.
451
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,331
Dad, something terrible
could have happened.
452
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:08,599
Alright, let's just try
453
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,768
to think positively
about this, okay?
454
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:14,505
I-I'm sure
that he'll be home soon.
455
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:17,375
Hey, and he-he never misses
"Captain Kangaroo".
456
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:18,709
[thud]
457
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,382
(Lynn)
'ALF! Oh.'
458
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:26,350
Excuse me, but..
459
00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:28,886
...do you good people
have a fork?
460
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,921
The mind reading worked!
461
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:33,024
- Oh.
- Oh, ALF.
462
00:21:33,026 --> 00:21:35,526
ALF, a-a-are you alright?
463
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,295
Yeah, yeah, fine.
464
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:39,597
- Why do you ask?
- Well, we were so worried.
465
00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:41,799
- Where were you?
- Out.
466
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:44,869
Well, do you think this
thing has run its course now?
467
00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:49,740
To quote Yogi Berra,
"It ain't over till it's over."
468
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:51,942
There's still one more stage.
469
00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:53,844
Well, what stage is that?
470
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:55,379
Quoting people.
471
00:21:55,381 --> 00:22:00,685
And as Mercutio said
"All's well that ends well."
472
00:22:00,687 --> 00:22:03,754
No, no, no, Mercutio said
473
00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:05,923
"It is not so deep as a well
474
00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:07,625
but it is enough,
it will serve."
475
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:08,959
- Oh, right.
- Mm-hm.
476
00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:12,630
But, "To err is human,
to forgive, divine."
477
00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:14,699
Plutarch, I believe.
478
00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:17,735
Well, at least you've recovered.
479
00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:20,538
- Sort of.
- Yeah.
480
00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:22,840
Or as Marcel Proust said
481
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:24,742
"We are healed of suffering
482
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:29,046
only by experiencing
it to the full."
483
00:22:29,048 --> 00:22:31,716
Or was that Marcel Marceau?
484
00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:34,118
No, that couldn't be right.
485
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,554
Marcel Marceau said..
486
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:41,659
[instrumental music]
487
00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:46,697
Or in the words of Dustan
488
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:51,869
"It ill-becomes us to jest
at a fallen potentate.
489
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:55,806
And still less
before he has fallen."
490
00:22:55,808 --> 00:22:58,743
Say, how much longer
are you gonna do this?
491
00:22:58,745 --> 00:23:02,046
Well, if I may quote Porky Pig
492
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:06,117
[imitating Porky Pig]
"Th-th-that's all, folks!"
493
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,018
And speaking of Porky..
494
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:09,954
[sniffing]
495
00:23:09,956 --> 00:23:11,522
Do I smell bacon?
496
00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:13,891
- No.
- Well, I'd like to.
497
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:18,028
I thought you spent
the whole night eating..
498
00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:20,498
Eating cats.
499
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,099
I don't think I did.
500
00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:25,503
At least, I don't feel bloated.
501
00:23:25,505 --> 00:23:27,938
But now that you mention cats
502
00:23:27,940 --> 00:23:31,509
I do remember storing
something in the garage.
503
00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:35,079
The garage?
You, this way.
504
00:23:39,419 --> 00:23:42,953
Well, if you've stolen any cats
they're going back immediately.
505
00:23:42,955 --> 00:23:45,756
- You understand?
- No problem.
506
00:23:50,897 --> 00:23:53,831
I-I-I'll take him back
right after breakfast.
507
00:23:56,002 --> 00:23:58,769
[instrumental music]
508
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:06,977
[theme music]
509
00:24:31,504 --> 00:24:33,838
[ALF laughing]